Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just. To thrive in life you need three bones. But, a ringing phone has to be answered doesnt it Kiefer Sutherland Most Powerful Funny Phone quotations. Isnt it funny You hear a phone ring and it could be anybody.
These funny mom quotes will have you smiling even through the sleep deprivation. It's suspicious, say all moms everywhere. You definitely don’t want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there!Charlotte Hilton Andersen Updated: Jun. One thing you need to remember though if you are going to be funny, then make sure you’re actually funny. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life.
You can write them down and use them whenever you’re attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Big Bear Lake, CA 92315 Phone: (909) 585-6892 Fax: (909) 585-6809 Useful Links After.Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered.Some prefer to be sentimental, while others go for a funny quote. People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh?. Some of the shorter ones could also be used for Telephone Pictionary, Gartic Phone, or Pass the Message, although the tongue-twisters are better for games that involve speaking out loudA person with a great sense of humor is also more likable.
If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.5. If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?4. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.3. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them.2.
Best friends eat your food.9. You were too lazy to read that number.8. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.7.
If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need.16. When nothing is going right, go left.15. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.14. Life always offers you a second chance. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.12. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.11.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.23. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.22. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.21. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.20. Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you.19. I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.18.
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?26. It’s scary when it disappears.26. Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. In the morning, I can’t get up.25. At night, I can’t fall asleep. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.24.
IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.32. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.31. I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.30. I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.29. When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love.
No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store.37. My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting.36. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon.35. Why was six scared of seven? Because seven “ate” nine.34.
I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. I enjoy every minute of it.40. I don’t suffer from insanity. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.
Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.48. Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck.47. I tried, but they wanted cash.46. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. Every day is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.45. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.44.
Funny Phone Quotes Movie Starts To
Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.53. It has nothing new to tell you.52. When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow.51. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.50.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.57. It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right.56. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.55.
Be yourself everyone else is already taken.61. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.60. You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again.59.
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.65. ‘Alright, get in the basket.’64. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. I see food, and I eat it.63.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.75. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over.73. It doesn’t work if it is not open.72.
Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.84. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans.81. Sorry, I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.80. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that’s confusing.79. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much.78.
If only common sense were more common.89. I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.88. Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.87. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.86.
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?94. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing.93. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.92. Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text.91.
Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed.99. I eat cake because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere today.98. I’m going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I’m outstanding.97.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.104. What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.103. People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.102. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.101.
Don’t worry, the spider is smaller than you. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?107.
If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me and I’ll laugh at them.115. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?114. I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people.113. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and I’m not afraid to use it.112. If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.111. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.110.
You can only be young once. I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.121. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.120. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter people the opposite.119. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.118. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.117.
It makes them so damned mad. I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.126. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. There’s life without Facebook and internet? Really? Send me the link.124. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.123.
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